Saturday, November 15, 2008

The NDE and Me

Maric recently suggested to me that I should write about my near death experience. WELL HERE GOES NOTHING : On Oct.30th, 2000, I discovered that I had been bitten by a spider of the exotic variety, it was a stowaway in a banana box that I was unloading at work. You see I was an inventory clerk for a periodicals distributor ( I scanned inventory). This place was a sickness waiting to happen or some bad accident or something. The spider which I will refer to from now on as Satan jr. or s.j. for short, had deposited her eggs in my left leg about four inches above the knee on the inside of my leg. This is where it gets interesting you see I have always been a workaholic and I liked what I was doing so I worked at least eleven hours a day six to seven days a week. Whenever I was at home it was only to sleep, shower, eat and be a real fiend to my wife which God bless her, she had every right to leave me but she never did, thanks maric. Anyway this job that I loved so much, it almost cost me my marriage, my health and my life. After the spider s.j. bit me I ended up with severe case of cellulites which almost killed me. Every year after that I got one infection after another, my back was ruined and I couldn’t work any more. The last time I got one of those nasty infections Jehovah God had said this is it, I’ve been trying to get your attention for forty two years now. You’re coming up here so I can talk to you face to face. That was July 4th 2006. I noticed that I was starting to get sick. No matter what I did I wasn’t getting any better. You see I’m a very stubborn man so I tried home remedies which maric had to help me with, God bless her heart. I prayed to God that if he would only say the word that I would be healed. No luck. You see I was suffering from a lack of faith. I believed that there was a God, I just didn’t know how real He was. Well I lingered on until September 11th 2006, No kidding! That was the day that I had to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital because my beautiful brown eyed girl couldn’t get me into the car to save my life. S.j.’s little bite had eaten away the muscles in my left leg and the infection spread throughout my body so finally I went forcibly to the hospital ( a note to guy’s whom think they are tough, don’t try this at home because of the following.)
The hospital stay (The nightmare that changed my life forever).

The last thing I remember about that day was my wife crying and saying that I looked like I was the walking dead. and Our dear friends Ray and Belle came to our rescue and as I was being put ambulance I saw Ray with a very concerned look on his face, after that it got kind of fuzzy for me because on the way to the hospital, as I was later told I went into respiratory distress. When I got to the hospital I became a teaching aid for medical students, you know a lab rat. First thing I remember was that they took me into a room to get a cat scan of my leg in which they dropped me on my back and worsening my previous condition. I forgot to tell you Satan juniors little bite also left me a diabetic. Because of my wife’s diligence was diet controlled until I went into the hospital and became their personal guinea pig. The next thing that I remember I was being wheeled into surgery and I was talking to the anestegeolgogist that’s not spelled right so please bear with me. I was trying to lighten the mood a little bit when I asked him if he was the gas passer. He got indignant with me and that’s when I should have known that I was in trouble because the next thing that I heard was doctor we’re losing him and then I saw that I was floating above the bed and the doctor was cutting into the wrong leg. I tried to tell him that, when all of a sudden I was in my living room floating above my couch and seeing my wife and her friend Pat sitting and suddenly I was walking, sitting on the front porch talking to my grandfather when he said ‘here take this’ and handed me a half moon fruit pie, a lemon and an R. C. cola and said ‘listen to me boy very carefully.’ When I said ‘Grandpap ( what I always called him that when he was still alive) where the heck am I and why am I talking to you? You’re supposed to be dead!’ That’s when he told me that I was dead and that we were in heaven. All of a sudden everything turned cerulean blue and that’s when I knew that I was in front of God and he told me that if I didn’t live my life the way that He wanted me to that I would be sent to hell and then he said to me that I was to go back and remind the world how much He loves us and to tell them what was about to happen and that’s when I was sent back to my grandpaps front porch and he told me that I had to return back to terra firma ( that’s what he always called earth ) because you have a lot of people praying and fighting for you to live especially that little brown eyed girl so go do what the good Lord told you to do and remember you were always my favorite. That’s when I started crying and I felt like I was six years old. I awoke seeing maric looking at me and I asked her if she still loved me and she said of course I do you dumb ass . Maric will have the rest of the story about her Christmas angel. Until next time this is gods ranger signing out.

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